Back of The Book blurbury

1FGOVUpdated – There’s no real John Carter of Mars or other Sword and Planetish news other than some big space opera thing with flaming swords or something and it seems well covered. I’m personally recovering from the circus of my father passing away a couple of weeks ago. Why oh why oh why when these things happen do we have to organize a big party and dig for all those old papers ? ( Image to left , older cover art )

On a more personal note, he did go in his sleep he had made the epic age of 88. As my mother said, he pretty much did everything that he set out to do. I should follow that plan.

As part of returning to normal today I’ve hunkered down in the studio to do some creative work. I’ve been wrapping up a rewrite of a sword and planet novel called The Fire Gods of Venus and decided to take a kick at writing the back of book copy. I’ve styled it in a contemporary way as opposed to trying to sound like the back of an old paperback. Anyone who has familiarity with the book from way back may note that I have changed the main character’s name. That’s far from the only change that’s for sure.  I did note that back copy seems a little exempt from standard grammar, I’m guessing it’s to keep the motor running like lyrics or poetry or rap or something. But I could be wrong about that.  I’m open to questions, suggestions feedback and stuffs. – Jeff

Jora Zi 2014 E txt SM

Dair Morrison’s life was unusual. His best friend Denny was from Venus and they spent their days repairing his spaceship and drinking beer. But Dair had a dream beyond that. As the space race of the early sixties heated up with England landing the first man on the moon, Diar was thinking bigger, he had the means at his fingertips to put a city on the moon. A fire changed all that leaving him and Denny crashed on Venus. 

Taken in by a human village of Morning Star he learns that he is infected by Venus itself. He may live, he may die, he may change into something no longer human. The only way of returning to Earth is a battleship built by the race that first brought humanity to Venus. Glendon Durgess, an ancient human pirate and leader of Morning Star,  intends to steal the Venusian ship and return to Earth exact revenge. 

But Durgess isn’t the only with designs on the ship. The families of those most changed by Venus yearn to find a safe haven far from the Venusians and far from Durgess. When Durgess takes the ship, Dair follows deep into the wild fire lands with only his mount, a sword and a tracker. He must face traitorous fire storms, predators, his body’s transformation and the rulers of the fire lands, the Fire Gods of Venus who have plans of their own…

NEW

I took another kick at the back of the book copy. I reduced as many pronouns as possible and got it down to a lower word count. I noticed that book copy tends to use 3 info parts – who/where, circumstance, challenge/problem.

Version 3 – Dair Morrison’s life was unusual. His best friend Denny was from Venus and they spent their days repairing his spaceship and drinking beer. A workshop fire changed all that, leaving him and Denny crashed on Venus. Taken in by a human village he learns that he is infected by Venus itself. He may live, he may die, he may change into something no longer human, and the only way of returning to Earth is a coveted Venusian battleship.

Glendon Durgess, an ancient human pirate and leader of the village, intends to steal the Venusian ship and return to Earth and the people of the village plan to take the ship and find a safe haven on the far side of Venus. When the ship disappears, Dair follows deep into the fiery wild lands with only his mount, a sword and a tracker. He must face vicious fire storms, predators, his body’s transformation, Durgess and the rulers of the fire lands, and the Fire Gods of Venus who have plans of their own…

 

 

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2 responses

  1. Abraham Sherman

    Looking good, Jeff!

    One small criticism is that you start with past tense and then transition to present tense in the first paragraph. It might be best to go with present tense for the whole thing.

    As is, it seems a little unclear how the workshop fire leads to the crash on Venus.

    A little more clarity about the conflicting goals of Durgess vs. the families of the village in regards to the ship would help smooth out that second paragraph.

    Sounds like a cool story!

    August 28, 2015 at 10:19 am

  2. Thanks, that’s why I put it out there.

    August 28, 2015 at 1:48 pm

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